One of Beyoncé’s models for her VMA Vanguard Award performance tells a story about how Beyoncé comforted her before the show began. So sweet!

(via laughcentre)

taki118:

hecallsmepineappleprincess:

allen-francis:

maggins:

faeries-everywhere:

when is it going to be the other way round

does this count?

Oh, I think that one counts. 

It definitely counts.

I think it also happened with Ariel but Mulans is better

(via laughcentre)

refreshes:

lamelohan:

oh my GOD

CHILL

refreshes:

lamelohan:

oh my GOD

CHILL

(via laughcentre)

a-goddessofmischief:

parnela-lansbury:

kenezbian:

soulmate AU where you wake up on your 18th birthday with the first words your soulmate will say to you tattooed on your body so you’ll know them when you meet them

image

admittedly, there are a few bugs in the system

I think its perfect.

(via laughcentre)

wimpynoodle:

brian quit playing games with my heart

wimpynoodle:

brian quit playing games with my heart

(via laughcentre)

love-naryk:

I love the 50 shades of grey trailer 

love-naryk:

I love the 50 shades of grey trailer 

(via laughcentre)

jipersnoeofficial:

officialcheesepolice:

jipersnoeofficial:

to all the people with shitty mums i want to make it known that i am your mum now

you are a 20 year old male

  • I
  • AM
  • YOUR
  • MOTHER
  • NOW

(via laughcentre)

semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

(via laughcentre)

therighteousdude:

Graphs throughout your school career

(via laughcentre)

gilbertbeilschmidtvevo:

tough choice

ex0skeletal:

Fun shark attack facts:

  • In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
  • For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.

Conclusions:

  1. Humans are assholes.
  2. Sharks are not assholes.
  3. Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.

(via laughcentre)